And finally…wives of wealthy bankers left feeling ‘deeply anxious and guilty’

Renowned sociologist Rachel Sherman made the discovery while researching the lifestyles of affluent families in New York City in an attempt to find out why wealthy wives are often placed into the stereotypical category of ‘spoiled women’.

The subjects of the study were women who were mostly in their late 30s and 40s, married to men working in finance who brought home $400,000 to $2 million or more in annual income, and had children at home.

Sherman, who is an associate professor of sociology at the New School for Social Research in Manhattan, found that while wealthy women carry cultural, ethical and psychological baggage around money, their partners did not have the same issues.

Many of the women in the study had have college degrees and usually advanced professional training and experience, and were keen to distance themselves from the stereotypes of “ladies who lunch”.

But the women found themselves bombarded by negative judgments about their wealth, with questions regularly raised about whether they deserved their money and lifestyle.

Unlike their male partners, women said they were judged for doing tasks that were necessary to maintain their families lifestyles.

The research revealed these women make conscious efforts to show that their status is still tied to ‘hard work.’

“I’m well-educated. I had a career. You know, where is all that now?’ one woman said, under the pseudonym Helen, adding that she felt as though she was “working for” her husband.

“There are power dynamics, where he’s the breadwinner now, and I’m really not.

“And yet, I do so many things for the family that you can’t put a number on it.”

Traditional gender roles were a major theme in the research, with women ultimately expected to be primary caregivers for the children. But once in those roles they said their other accomplishments including their careers were dismissed or diminished.

Discomfort also arose from the womens’ economic dependence on their high-earning husbands, and the way some husbands failed to recognise their wives contributions.

One of the women who had been an investment banker, and had left her career, said there was a shift in power dynamics once her husband was the primary bread winner.

“I’m well-educated, I had a career. You know, where is all that now?”, she told the researcher.

Another woman who worked part-time, and didn’t contribute as much money as her husband, said he gave her a hard time about spending what he considered ‘his’ money but felt free to buy what he wanted.

In an effort to resist the negative image that they were lavish spenders, many wealthy women decided to pay themselves a salary calculated around how much it would cost to pay for the child care and home management they delivered.

While not earning any money made many of the women feel vulnerable, other women who were the primary breadwinners reported different problems.

Those who earned more than their husbands said their partners were often threatened by what was perceived as a ‘power imbalance’.

Some went to great lengths to even up the imbalance by giving their partners control of the family finances and investments.

“In the modern-day US, our concept of meritocracy is inherently gendered,” Sherman wrote.

“This means that women bear the brunt of negative judgment about wealth – and raises questions about what women “deserve,” and on what basis, that cut across social class.”